This is the Next Time
by pdljmpr6
Summary: He'd sworn that 'next time' he wouldn't be wrong. But being right could cost him dearly. Four months and a brown-haired pilot turn Ronon's world upside down - Inspired by my tag to the Lost Tribe 'Wrong' RononOC
1. Day One

**Ext. Summary:** After my tag fic '_Wrong_' someone asked me to write Ronon's 'next time' and, since I am such a big believer that Ronon does, in fact, _need _a girl and I seem to enjoy inventing my own characters, I've decided to take up that challenge (although, for the record, I'm still a R/K shipper).

**Disclaimer**: They all belong to Sci Fi, except Remy and Scooter. They're mine.

**Chapter One - First Contact**

"This is awesome. Remy," Scott Bowen bounced on the balls of his feet, gripping his p90 in pure nervous-excited energy. He felt more like a kid finally tall enough to ride the Zipper at the state fair than a captain on the US Marine Core. He glanced at his friend, but she seemed considerably less enthused than he, "we're getting to go off-world! For the first time," he continued in an exaggerated whisper, not wanting to draw extra attention from the other new soldiers who crowded the gate room floor along with them. "You know, usually SGA1 doesn't participate in off-world orientation, but there were so many new people off the Deadalus this time they had to take a few. How lucky are we that they chose us?" He elbowed his friend lightly in her arm and she sent him a 'you're _this_ close' glare.

She shrugged, kicking the shiny floor with the toe of her combat boots, "they're just people, Scooter. Just like any of us."

Scott rolled his eyes. "Quit pouting 'cause they aren't letting you start practicing flying the jumpers for two more weeks."

Remy pursed her lips and let go of her p90 to tighten her long, dark brown hair in it's ponytail, "I'm not pouting, Scooter."

Scott sighed and went back to bouncing on his feet, "Anyway they're more than 'just people'. They're SGA1. They're the stuff folklore are made of, they're legends in our own time, they're…"

"Standing right behind you?"

Remy and Scott both whirled around and found themselves face to face with the four, slightly amused looking members of SGA1. Their right hands flew to their foreheads in salute.

Sheppard waved away the gesture.

"I'm sorry sir," Scott said, clasping his hands behind his back, "I should have been more discreet."

Remy clenched her jaw to keep a smart alec comment from escaping.

Sheppard shrugged, "we don't mind a little hero worship every now and then," he glanced over his shoulder, "do we guys?"

Teyla smiled at his antics and Ronon grunted, still smirking. Remy glanced down and saw the blaster she'd heard so much about strapped to Ronon's hip.

"No, I actually find a little hero-worship from the new arrivals every now and then is good for the work environment. It uh, inflates the ego for the rare but inevitable trial and error to come." Rodney grinned a self-satisfied smirk and Sheppard turned back to the two junior officers.

"And you two are?"

"Captain Scott Bowen of the United States Marine Core, sir," the young man said, puffing up slightly, "but most folks call me Scooter."

Sheppard nodded a greeting, and turned to the woman, "and you?"

"Lieutenant Remy Robinson, Sir. United States Air Force," she jutted out her chin slightly and Sheppard raised his eyebrow.

"Our rookie off-worlders? Good to meet you. I'm Colonel John Sheppard, this is my team. Dr. Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagen and Ronon Dex."

Scooter's grin brightened, "we've heard a lot about you all, sir, from the returned Marines back home."

Sheppard nodded. He remembered the IOA recently made it mandatory for new volunteers for the Atlantis mission to spend a minimum 6 hours being debriefed by soldiers who'd been sent back to earth to help better prepare them for Pegasus.

"Glad to have you with us."

"Thank you, sir." The two said in unison. Sheppard and his team led the way to the gate and Remy and Scooter fell into step a few paces behind. Remy was still eyeing the blaster on Ronon's hip when they took a place in the center of the floor, just outside the event horizon.

"See something you like?"

Remy's eyes snapped up to Ronon's, he had his eyebrow raised in a smirk, his hand resting possessively on his blaster's handle.

She smiled, "yeah. That's quite the weapon. I've heard stories." Her eyes fell back to the blaster. In all one motion Ronon pulled it out and twirled it a few times around his finger and slipped it back in.

Remy turned toward the gate when she heard the Colonel telling 'Chuck' to start dialing.

"I'd like to get my hands on one of those," she muttered.

She heard Ronon grunt beside her and looked out of the corner of her eye to watch him step forward toward the newly formed puddle.

"Get in line."

"There's a line, huh?" she asked curiously. Scooter came to stand beside her and they followed SGA1 toward the gate, "how big a line are we talking?"

Ronon paused briefly before stepping in after his team and shook his head. Remy could have sworn she saw him smiling.

"You were flirting with him. With Ronon Dex. The biggest, toughest, strongest guy in the galaxy and one fourth of _SGA1_," Scooter shook his head, "you're asking for trouble, Ace."

"How's that?"

Scooter sighed, as if having to explain a very simple concept to an even simpler person, "he's Forbidden Fruit, Remy. Look, but don't touch."

Remy rolled her eyes, "and who are you in this rather sloppy retelling? The Devil?"

Scooter pursed his lips at her stubborness, watching as Remy stepped confidently through the gate. She'd always been too cocky for her own good.

"Go ahead and ignore me, Ace. Lets hope it works out better for you than it did for Eve."

_TBC_


	2. Day Two

**A/N: **I can't go back and change chapter one without reloading it and, I'm pretty sure, re-alerting everyone of it's postedness, so I'm giving notice here: Chapter one is now titled 'Day One'. Sorry about that. Thank you if you're still reading, and hit me with a review if you feel so inclined.

**Disclaimer**: They all belong to Sci Fi, except Remy and Scooter. They're mine.

_Day Two  
_

Ronon felt the eyes on him long before a voice ever accompanied them, but he didn't acknowledge their owner. If they were content to watch, he was content to let them. He did not often get the gym to himself, so when he did he liked to use the time for exercises, a sequence of stretches and battle ready positions that had been drilled into his brain while he was in basic training. They served to center him more than meditating with Teyla ever had, and found that the stretches improved the pain from the bruises he so often seemed to aquire off world.

When he was finished, he bowed out of habit and dismissed himself to get water. It was then that the eyes from the shadows stepped forward.

"It's like a dance."

Ironically, it was the very cause of his need to center, the girl from the mission.

"It's called _Santei_," he finally set aside his water and looked at her, she was wearing a pair of red running shorts and a white tank top, her hair in much the same pony-tail it had been when they went off-world.

"Teach me?" She stepped forward onto the mat, her request made without intimidation, but also without hesitation or embarrassment. He expected the first one because it seemed to be what everyone showed when he was in the room, especially new arrivals from the Deadalus whom Sheppard and the more seasoned marines liked to call 'Dead-headers'.

But the second two he had grown accustomed to after spending so much time with Jennifer. There were still times when she would blush just because he was around, or stumble over her words when talking to him. It wasn't that he liked Remy's approach better, it was just…different.

He looked at her appraisingly for a moment and Remy stood without flinching, looking him squarely in the face while she waited for him to finish.

"Okay," He threw aside his towel and stepped forward, "put your legs shoulder length apart and bend your knees." Remy did. "Now step forward a little with your right leg."

She did that as well and then balled her hands into fists as instructed.

"This is called _Seinsa_. It's the ready stance. All the other positions originate from his stance."

Remy nodded.

"You ready?"

"For what?" Remy looked up at him. Without warning Ronon stepped forward ands shoved her shoulders, hard. She stumbled back several steps, her face turning red with indignation.

"What did you dot that for?"

"Absorb the impact, don't fight it," Ronon told her, ignoring the question, "Go back to _Seinsa_."

After a moment Remy did, and then he repeated the whole thing, she did better the second time, but still stumbled. Then they moved on to _Sein, Seani _and finally _Seiran. _Each stance required more balance and strength to hold under challenge and Remy often ended up in a butt to floor position.They did this over and over until she got so frustrated with literally being pushed around that she lashed out at him. He hadn't really anticipated the attack but managed to get his feet under him quickly, blocking her fist with his left hand, stepping to one side and letting her momentum drive her to the floor.

With a huff she jumped back onto her feet, quicker than Ronon expected with the weight of her fall, and then came back at him. Again, he read her body language, ducked and swept his legs under hers. She jumped and swung back around. Ronon caught her hand and twisted around so that, instead of hitting him, she hit the mat-covered wall.

She stayed there for a moment and then turned, leaning against the wall while she rested her hands on her knees, breathing hard.

Ronon put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to one side, he was sure there had been no malice in the attack, and certainly no danger. But the fact that she'd made it at all was...different.

"Feel better?"

"Not yet," Remy grumbled, glancing at him from beneathe her bangs.

"You should never let your emotions get the better of you they-"

"-cloud your judgment," Remy finished, standing a little straighter, "yeah yeah. I know. I've always had trouble with that."

She noticed Ronon looking at her curiously and she smiled slightly and held up two fingers.

"Two older brothers. Both were black belts in karate. They tried to teach me."

"Tried."

Her grin widened, "the only thing I ever really learned was how to take a hit and get back up again."

In a flash she was off the wall, running at him again and Ronon was both surprised at her resilience and amused at her seemingly unbreakable spirit. Again he anticipated and countered her move and she was hard pressed to avoid landing on her tailbone once more. In a last, desperate move, she ducked under her arm and swung all her weight to one side, slamming her body into Ronon's stomach and sending them both careening to the floor.

A few seconds later, Ronon was a little taken aback to find himself looking up at the ceiling and feeling a weight pressed to his pained chest.

He lifted his head off the mat and stared at Remy, who looked just as winded from her little stunt as he.

"That move will get you killed in battle."

She shrugged one shoulder, her eyes roaming over his face for a long moment before answering, "if I'm ever fighting somebody like you I have a feeling I'll be dead either way."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Oh? and what have you got to say?" the corner of Remy's mouth started to kick up and her brown eyes sparkled. She smiled a smile he was pretty sure he hadn't seen on her before. It wasn't teasing, it wasn't cocky it was just...a smile. He became aware of her warm breath calling on his collar bone and realized how close they really were. Inches close. Ronon's own eyes betrayed him, as they dropped more than once to her parted lips, the man in him becoming more and more aware of the fact that she way laying on top of him.

Remy's pulse was pounding, her screaming that this was another one of her poorly thought out, likely to get her in a hell of a lot of trouble, ideas. Ronon had never been one to think before he acted anyway. He'd never had time and, as far as he was concerned, this was no exception. Bringing his hands up to cradle her head he moved his face until it was mere breaths from hers. He waited.

Remy didn't hesitate. She didn't know how. The smile fell off her lips and leaned down to kiss him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, when she pulled back a few moments later. She took a deep breath the decidedly chaste kiss had only made her heart pound harder.

"For what?" Ronon was slightly distracted by a tingly feeling on his lips and licked them to see if he could make it stop.

"For that. I probably shouldn't have."

"Why not?" He asked, sounding a little perplexed.

She shrugged and slid off of his chest to sit beside him on the floor.

"I don't know. It's probably against the rules."

Ronon turned his head to look at her, "you guys have too many rules."

"You're telling me." She pursed her lips and then shifted them to one side thoughtfully. "I'd ask you if you wanted to go get something to eat but I probably shouldn't do that either."

"Why not? Aren't you hungry?" He probbed himself up on his elbows.

"Well yeah. But…it probably wouldn't look good."

"So?"

Remy raised an eyebrow, and looked at him critically, "you're one of those – close your eyes, grit your teeth and hope for the best – kind of guys, aren't you?"

Ronon got to his feet and held out his hand to help Remy up as well, "no. I'm a – stun anyone who doesn't like it – kind of guy." He finished with a mischevious grin which Remy returned.

"Then lets go eat," she turned to lead the way out of the gym, "I've got to get my hands on one of those blasters."

Ronon followed her, shaking his head and laughing, "never gonna happen."

--

"So, are all of your missions like the one we went on yesterday?" Remy asked. She pulled a piece off her bread and glanced down at the stitches on her right forearm.

"Na," He shook his head, "only the fun ones."

Remy was quiet for a moment before nodding, "Cool."

Ronon was surprised by her answer, and looked at her.

"What?"

"You're different from most Earth women."

Remy raised an eyebrow, pushing aside her empty tray, "maybe I'm just different from most Earth girls you've known."

Ronon nodded, agreeing.

"Or, maybe _those _girls were different from most Earth girls and I'm just like the rest of us back home."

Ronon gave her a puzzled look, "maybe."

She shrugged, "or maybe…you're right."

Ronon smiled and shook his head, which he seemed to do a lot around Remy. He returned to his meatloaf, "so, you're a pilot. Like Sheppard."

She snorted, glancing around and realizing that, although the mess was not very full, their table seemed to have attracted a lot of attention. "Not as much as I'd like to be, but more than most of my COs have appreciated."

"What does that mean?"

She sighed, "it means the Colonel is arguably the best pilot I've ever had the privilege of sharing the same base with, but to become that good," she decided to ignore the curious looks and went back to watching Ronon eat, which was really quite facinating if she thought about it. "you have an aversion to green?"

Ronon looked up and saw Remy looking pointedly at his tray, where he'd partitioned his peas and green beans from his diced carrots, and removed the cucumbers from his salad. He shrugged and continued eating, "what do you have to do to become that good?"

Remy frowned, trying to recall what she'd been saying before, "oh. Well, it's just that sometimes you have to break the rules. Disobey orders," she shrugged again, as if the situation could not be helped, "The USAF doesn't really look kindly on that kind of thing."

"But they let you come here," he pointed out.

This time Remy's smile was one he recognized, "that's because, next to the Colonel, I'm the best pilot on this base. The IOA already knows it and as soon as I can get into those puddle jumpers, so will everyone else."

_TBC_


	3. Day Eight

**A/N: **Well here's chapter three, thanks for the awesome reviews last chap, I'm glad I'm not alone on the Remy/Ronon train (which I assure you only travels in this fic) Oh, and I sincerly apologize about the typos last chap, they drive me mad when I go through and find them after the fact!

**Disclaimer**: Atlantis belongs to Sci-Fi, Twister belongs to WB and Universal Studios. Alas, I only claim Remy.

_Day Eight_

"So, I guess this is my official welcome to Atlantis?" Remy announced her presence in the filled-to-capacity room and held up a bowl of steaming hot stove-top popcorn, "anybody hungry?"

"Real popcorn!" the excited cries rang out from the sofa, where John and Rodney sat and both big fluffy chairs where Jennifer and Lorne had taken over, as well as the thick rug that covered the 'movie room' floor where Teyla and Cadman were sprawled out.

"Where'd you get that?" Jennifer asked, eyeing the snack enthusiastically.

"I brought it with me from Earth and had one of the KD guys pop it a few minutes ago."

Lorne reached the bowl first, happily taking a handful of salty-goodness with his right and reliving Remy of the entire thing with his left. "Oh man," he groaned in pleasure, "this is so much better than the microwave bags."

"I'll take that, Major," Sheppard said, not at all ashamed of playing the 'rank' card to get his hands on the 'real popcorn'.

Remy stood back as the rest of the group dove into the bowl in a manner not unlike starved refugees, "wow…I'm beginning to second guess this whole 'a galaxy away from home' thing."

"Too late for that, Leut. You're stuck here." Cadman called out, un-tucking her legs so she could reach out and take a swipe from the bowl.

Ronon made his way over a few pairs of legs, switching his hand from guiding at the small of Remy's back, to tugging subtly on her hand, as he led her to the couch. He plopped down on the other side of Rodney and Remy, seeing there was no more room, started to sit on the floor.

"Oh, you can have this spot," John got up and motioned to the couch, nudging Rodney's legs.

"What?" He looked up indignantly, his hand stuffed into one of the bags of microwave popcorn. He liked it just fine thankyouverymuch. Sheppard just pinched his lips and jerked his head to one side, glancing meaningfully at Remy, who was watching the whole scene with a sort of nervous amusement.

Rodney rolled his eyes when he got the hint and made a production out of scooting down the sofa so that Remy could sit beside Ronon.

"Thanks Col."

"Oh sure, thank him. _I'm_ the one that had to give up the best seat in the house," Rodney grumbled.

Ronon sent him a glare around Remy, unhappy that he couldn't quite reach the back of the scientist's head to pop him one.

"And thank _you_, Dr. McKay," Remy added, watching with morbid fascination as Rodney emptied the bag of it's contents in under a few seconds.

"Don't encourage him, Leut." John said, looking up from the floor where he'd used giving up his spot as an excuse to sit beside Teyla.

"No sir," Remy nodded with a half-smirk and glanced once more at the scientist before turning her attention to the slightly antiquated 35-inch box television, "so, what are we watching?"

"Who's turn was it to bring the movie?" Lorne piped up, reaching into the bowl and disappointed to find nothing but kernels.

"Mine," Cadman stood up, "hope you all like disaster movies, 'cause this is the _king_." She approached the tv.

"What is it, _Armageddon_?" Jennifer asked.

"Nope."

"_Independence Day_?" John suggested.

"Even better."

"It doesn't get better than _Independence Day_," Ronon rumbled.

Cadman turned to them after inserting the DVD and held up the box, "I beg to differ alien boy. _Twister_."

Remy immediately tensed, causing Ronon to look over at her.

"You okay?"

Remy bit her lip and nodded. She gave him a quick smile as Sheppard thought the lights down, "fine."

They all turned their attention to the TV. Ronon glanced over several times at Remy during the opening credits. At first to see if she would relax, then to see if she would breathe.

Remy's mouth was dry and her eyes burned with the need to blink, but she couldn't take her eyes off the screen. She'd been so excited when Ronon asked her if she wanted to go to movie night. It was a sacred tradition among the 'Lanteans, but to be able to attend with the senior staff? With Ronon? She'd hardly been able to keep herself from jumping with glee when she'd gone to tell Scooter.

Now she was wishing she'd been busy. Why '_Twister_'? Of all the hundreds of millions of movies that Cadman could have brought, why did she have to bring _that_ one?

She made it through the credits okay and most of the first scene, although she was sure even Rodney noticed the way she jumped every time the lightning cracked. She held her breath when the mother grabbed the little girl and ran down to the storm celler, the lightning striking the tree made her lungs jump start again. She grit her teeth, knowing what was to come.

She could do this. She could do this. Remy repeated the mantra over and over in her head. She could do this.

But she couldn't.

The dad ran up the stairs to hold onto the storm celler door. The little girl got up to look at the sky. The celler lock started to come apart. The storm got worse. The door flew apart. As the dad was sucked into the vortex suddenly Remy got up and left the room.

Ronon and Sheppard exchanged a glance and he thought breifly about letting her go. But her strange behavior from before told Ronon she wasn't just lost and looking for the bathroom so got up and followed her out, leaving the others to finish watching. He found her in the hallway outside the movie room, her arms straight out, palms flat against the wall as she braced herself against it.

Remy turned to face him as soon as the door closed behind him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she shook her head and pressed her hands to her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

She was still shaking her head but was finally able to take a deep breath, "I uh…I just hate that movie."

"Any particular reason?"

"Bad memories," she said simply, and for Ronon, it was enough.

He shrugged, "let's do something else then."

Remy looked apologetic, "I should say something…"

Ronon shook his head, walking beside her toward the transporter, "they'll be fine. I've got a better idea than a movie anyway."

---

"Ah, beer," Remy looked over at Ronon, "this _was_ a better idea."

Ronon tipped his chin at her and motioned with his bottle, "Satedan stuff is better, but I don't mind this."

Remy took another swig and nodded, "yeah. This ain't bad." She looked up at the night sky, lit up with a million stars and two moons, "weird."

Ronon looked at her while sipping his drink.

"Two moons," she said by way of explanation, "Earth only has one."

"Sateda had three or four, depending on the time of year."

Remy looked over at him but most of his face was shrouded in shadow since their backs were to the lit city, "really?

Ronon nodded. He stared out at the water that crashed against the side of the peir one level below their dangling feet, "it was considered good luck to be born during the time when there were four moons, during Mirc or Gjost."

Remy tilted her head, "you were born then, weren't you?"

Ronon sighed and finished his beer, nodding, "so much for good luck."

Remy set aside her empty bottle, swinging her legs back and forth and they knocked against the side of the peir, "I heard about that. That the wraith destroyed Sateda."

"A long time ago."

They were silent for a while and Remy shifted closer to him, the wind bringing a chill off the water, "bet those moons are still pretty though."

He looked down at the top of her head and saw her still looking up at the moons.

"They are."

---

"Sorry I ruined the movie," Remy apologized for at least the fourth time that evening as she and Ronon came to a stop in front of the doors to her quarters.

Ronon just shook his head, his hands resting loosely in the pockets of his leather trousers, "I told you you didn't."

"Yeah well," Remy looked at her half-laced combat boots, which she still wore despite her civilian attire of jeans and a 'Hard Rock Café' t-shirt, "I'm sorry anyway."

She shifted a few times, aware of his stare on her, knowing she should enter her room and still not wanting to. Ronon watched her fidget for a moment and then took a step forward into her personal space. She forced herself to look up at him instead of taking a step back.

"Did you have fun?"

Remy nodded, the low rumble of his voice making her mouth dry and her heartbeat quicken. His closeness didn't help matters either.

"Then don't be sorry."

Remy was watching his lips move instead of really listening to what he was saying and unconsciously tilted her chin up further. Ronon smiled at the action and met her proffered lips confidently, resting his hands on her hips in hopes of making this one last longer than the first.

When he finally stepped back Remy opened her eyes, unaware of having closed them. She licked her lips and smiled.

"With a closing like that, how could I argue?"

Ronon smirked, both at her comment and the way his lips were tingling again, "next time, you bring the movie."

"As long as you bring the beer," she said, not missing a beat,

Ronon raised an eyebrow, "Done."

_TBC_


	4. Day Fourteen

**A/N: **Ah, I see what Nika meant by 'formatting issues' with ffdotnet. Weird. Okay, here's the next chap, I thought it was time Remy and Ronon got some drama in their lives.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own Atlantis or any of it's occupants. In fact, even Remy is thinking of disowning me in favor of Pegasus.

_Day Fourteen_

Ronon got up from his chair, where he'd collapsed a few minutes before and had been trying (and mostly failing) to finish a report for his most recent mission, and went to answer the door. It chimed three times before he got across the room.

"What?" He said sharply, and his eyes widened when arms were thrown around his neck and pushed him back inside.

Remy pulled away from him the impromptu hug literally bouncing up and down. She still wore a tac vest and a radio and she was smiling so hard it made his cheeks hurt. And then there was her black eye.

"Ronon! I just got to spend three full hours flying a puddle jumper it was _so_ awesome Ronon you should have been there. I mean, they respond to a thought, it's like they anticipate what you want and they handle _gorgeously_. I made flight paths in that thing I never would've dreamt of trying with _any_ other craft. I mean, I've been in Eagles that didn't handle as well as they do," she was talking a mile a minute and either ignoring or was oblivious to Ronon's concerned look.

"Remy, your eye."

"And the Colonel was there and he said I did so well that, if I do as well next time, he's gonna forget the other two flights that are otherwise _mandatory_ and let me start flying missions. _Missions_, Ronon! Can you imagine one of those things in a fight? Oh, oh and they have a cloak. It makes you invisible Ronon, I can't wait to blow some wraith scumbags out of the sky with those things-"

"Remy, you have a black eye," Ronon said more forcefully, grabbing her by her shoulders to pull her into the light. He took her chin and turned her to get a better look at the swollen cheek.

"I'm fine Ronon," Remy said irritably, jerking her head away, "Doc said so. Anyway that's not what we're talking about right now."

"Who did it?" Ronon practically growled.

Remy's shoulders sagged, some of the bounce gone from her step as she turned to put some distance between them, "I'm not going to give you a name just so you can go out and beat up some poor flyboy who doesn't know any better."

"Flyboy? He's a pilot?"

Remy grit her teeth and turned back around, "stop fishing for information, Ronon. I handled it, okay? It's over. I came here because I was excited and I wanted to tell you about the jumpers, not because I need you to fight my fights," she shook her head and started for the door, she paused before exiting and added softly, "please, Ronon. Leave it alone."

---

Ronon had tried to adhere to Remy's terms.

It was over. She had handled it. She didn't need him to fight her fights.

The thing that hung him up was that it wasn't just her fight. The moment her saw her eye, red and swollen, her cheek turning various ugly shades of purple, it became his fight too. And he'd be damned if he let that kind of challenge go unanswered.

Atlantis was a large place with a relatively small compliment and the men's locker room was a veritable fountain of information. It hadn't taken long for him to put a name to the fury burning in his gut.

He cornered Leut. Alves in a lesser used off-shoot of the main hallway outside the Mess. The man had been walking by, having just finished his afternoon meal, and Ronon shot one arm out of the shadows and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him into the darkened space.

"What the hell?"

"I could say the same to you." Ronon said, standing within inches of him, forcing the Leut. to press his back even closer to the wall. He snarled when the pilot smiled smugly.

"I knew she'd come running to you to defend her."

Ronon brought up his arm and pressed it against his neck, the metal buckles on his vambrace pressing against the man's wind pipe. Just enough pressure to make him uncomfortable, but not enough to cut off air. Not yet.

"What did you do to her?"

The Leut. had the intelligence to look slightly less cocky this time as he brought his hands up to his neck.

"Look, man, _she _attacked _me_, okay? Half a dozen people saw it."

Ronon glanced down at a bruise on his jaw and his cut and slightly swollen lip. He didn't doubt at least part of that statement.

"Mm-hm," he continued, his voice dangerously low, "and what did you say to make her do that."

"I didn't-" Ronon pressed a little bit harder. He was going off world soon and didn't have time for games, "okay, okay. I...I just said that I wished Teyla was available, you know? That way I could bang a member of SGA1 too and get myself in good with the Col. It was a joke, that's all. She's just too damn sensitive."

Ronon started to say something when his com sounded in his ear.

_"Sheppard to Ronon, come in." _

Ronon growled and reached up to his ear with his free hand. "Go ahead," he said, never taking his eyes off the Leut's.  

_"We're ready, meet us in the Jumper Bay in five." _

"Understood, Dex out." He tapped his com again and stared at the man for a few seconds before saying, "next time you have a joke, tell it to me. I could always use a good laugh." He stepped back a little and finally let his arm fall to his side, "you stand a better chance of surviving that way too." 

"And by a better chance you mean…"

Ronon wasn't sure if the man was being obnoxious or dense so he decided to leave no room for doubt either way.

"I mean no chance."

---

"You _rat bastard_." Remy stormed into the off-duty/rec room still wearing BDUs and a black tank top from the mission she'd just returned from, red hot anger on her face and hurt in her tone. She ignored a dozen pairs of eyes belonging to both SGA1 and 2 as well as a few scientist that honed in on her the moment the words left her mouth. She looked only at Ronon, who was sitting at a table with his teammates, a set of playing cards spread out between them.

"Remy," he started.

She took a step forward, not allowing him to continue, "I told you I had it handled. I _asked_ you to stay out of it. How could you?" She took another step forward, her hands balled into fists. Ronon didn't answer right away and John, after glancing between them a few times, spoke up.

"Look, Remy, I'm sure Ronon didn't mean…"

"All due respect Colonel, this doesn't concern you," she snapped, taking her eyes briefly off Ronon to lay them on John. A few of the people in the room tensed and glanced at each other.

John straightened, "if it has to do with what I think it has to do with, it does concern me, _Lieutenant_. This is not the time, and if it is the time, it certainly not the place."

Remy took a deep breath and turned on her heel, leaving the room as quickly as she'd come, her brown hair falling messily from her pony-tail.

John turned to look at Ronon, who was staring at the door, his brow furrowed.

 "I don't want to know what this is really all about, and don't let it become something I need to take care of. Got it?" He said.

Ronon nodded his head once, set aside his cards and went after Remy.

Rodney subtly reached across the table and lifted the Satedan's abandoned hand, "I knew it! I _knew_ he was bluffing."

Sheppard rolled his eyes, "McKay."

"What?"

---

"Remy, Remy wait."

She stopped so quickly he had to jump aside to keep from running into her. She turned to face him and poked a finger at his wide chest.

"You had _no_ right."

Ronon grabbed her arm and pulled her into an empty lab. He swiped his hand over the controls and the door closed behind them.

"What, are you going to fight me to?" Remy asked. She shifted all her weight to her right foot and crossed her arms defiantly over her chest.

"Remy I-"

She shook her head, still neither willing nor able to hear his side, "do you have any idea how hard it is to be taken seriously as a pilot when everyone thinks you're sleeping your way to the top?"

"But we haven't…"

"It doesn't matter! They _think_ I have. I've dealt with chauvinistic pigs since the day I stepped off the bus for BMT but I've never, _ever_ slept with a superior. Everything I have, I earned, and I aim to keep." 

"Remy, I don't know exactly what Alves said to you," he said, stepping forward to take her flailing arms, "but no one's trying to take anything away from you."

"Aren't they?" she looked up at him and brushed furiously at a few stray tears, "what do you think is going to happen when everyone gets word of what you did? This thing between us," she motioned vaguely in the air that separated them, "it was a bad idea from the start and now…I'll be lucky if I'm not on the next flight out of here."

Ronon's mood darkened, "you won't be."

"Maybe, maybe not. But the damage is done, Ronon."

He locked his jaw shut for a few minutes processing all she said and trying to figure out how to tell her why he'd done it.

"On Sateda hitting a woman was never acceptable. No matter what."

"We're not on Sateda," she told him evenly.

"We're not," he nodded and squeezed her arms in an attempt to keep her listening, "old habits die hard. I'm sorry."

He added the last two words quietly and they drew the remaining anger from her. She sighed and sagged against him, laying her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry you have to be sorry. Ordinarily I wouldn't really mind a guy jumping to my defense, it's just…"

"I know," He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head, "I'll talk to Sheppard. You're not going back to Earth until you say so, okay?"

Remy sighed again and nodded, "okay."

_TBC_


	5. Day TwentyTwo

**A/N: **Yay!! I see the PTB have fixed our formatting issues. Lovely! Thanks to everyone who's r&r-ing. I hope you enjoy the Remy/Keller interaction this chap, let me know if you think it's IC. -pj

**Disclaimer**: Not mine and Sci Fi execs have stopped returning my calls.

_Day Twenty-Two_

"Ow," Remy hissed, throwing a quick glare at Dr. Keller as she probed the ugly bruise forming over her ribs.

"Sorry," Jennifer let the black shirt fall back down and Remy tugged at it self consciously, "it doesn't look like you've broken anything but I'm going to tape them up anyway because the bruising is pretty severe."

Remy shook her head, trying to get off the exam table, "no, I'll be okay."

"Do you plan on being able to walk tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Then you're going to want me to give it some support," Jennifer gave her a stern look and Remy rolled her eyes, settling back onto the exam table.

"How'd you do it anyway?"

Jennifer had turned away, busy gathering her materials so she didn't see Remy grin.

"An _Ourdnac_."

Keller paused in ripping off several long pieces of adhesive tape, "I'm sorry?"

"It's a big, sort of…bull kind of thing, but like a more reddish-purple color and a long head like a horse. It's got claws instead of hoofs too."

"Okay…" Jennifer said, placing the first strip, still waiting for the 'explanation' part of this story.

"I was riding it," Remy said simply and winced when the doctor pressed it into place.

The doctor's head snapped up, "you were _what_?"

Remy grinned, expecting this reaction. It had pretty much been what her team said when she volunteered to give the large animal a go, "what? I never got to ride the bull at the rodeo…I figured I was finally getting my chance."

"Oh, you got it all right." Jennifer said humorlessly.

Remy shrugged, and then regretted it at the sharp pain that shot up her side, "All the locals were doing it." She said, as if that made it any better. She looked up when she saw a large figure move in the doorway of the infirmary.

Long leather jacket flapping behind him, Ronon stopped at the foot of the bed where Remy sat and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You rode an _Ourdnac_? Have you lost it completely?" he was trying to sound severe, but Remy could hear the concern underneath.

"I didn't try. I succeeded. Was on it for a full eight seconds before it threw me."

Ronon shook his head and Remy detected an amused smile on his lips when he did so.

"Okay, you're good," Keller stood up, finished with taping Remy's ribs, "I'm just going to go write you a script for some pain-killers and-"

"No way, I've got to fly a mission tomorrow. I need a clear head," Remy protested immediately.

Jennifer eyed her and, sensing that the Leut. was unlikely to give up this particular fight, she nodded and made her way over to the supply cabinet.

Ronon stepped forward, tilting his head to give her a serious look, "you okay? Really?"

Remy smiled briefly and nodded, "a little banged up, but I'll live."

"I'm leaving for Veda. Woolsey wants us to check on them, see how they're doing since Davos died."

Remy nodded, "to promote goodwill. I know."

"I guess we need all the friends we can get."

"Okay," Remy smiled for his benefit, although the thought of him being gone for three days did not really make her want to do so, "have a safe trip."

Ronon looked at her for several moments playing with the ends of her hair while dropping a quick kiss on her lips. Remy hated herself for blushing as he pulled away and turned to leave the infirmary, but he'd never kissed her in public before and the act of doing so was giving her much the same rush riding the _Ourdnac_ had.

Just as Ronon left Jennifer returned with a few foil packets of Ibuprofen.

"You're pretty young," she said after a moment, handing Remy a glass of water for the pills.

"Okay…" Remy swallowed the aspirin and gave the doctor a look, trying to see where she was going with that comment.

"I mean, for Ronon."

"Oh. Well, I'm 26. And Ronon's young too, people just don't usually realize it because he carries himself older. Be hard not to when you've been through as much as he has."

"He's told you about that?" Jennifer seemed surprised.

"Not a lot," Remy bent and twisted a little at the waist, testing out the tape splint and was satisfied when her discomfort was limited to a slightly less grinding pain, "but this place is one giant grapevine. All you have to hear is 'the wraith captured him and put a tracker in him _again'_ to know he's seen more than his fair share."

"Yeah." Keller nodded, distractedly reaching for a tablet on a nearby workstation.

"You and him too, huh?"

Her eyes snapped up to hers and Remy returned the look evenly, "like I said, one giant grapevine."

Keller cleared her throat, shifting the tablet from one arm to the other, "well, he was interested but…I was kind of involved so…"

Remy nodded and looked down at her hands, but glanced up several times at the suddenly fidgety doctor. She swallowed hard and shifted on the small exam table, thinking. The intelligence she'd received had been clear. At one time in the not so distant past Ronon had been pretty enamored with this doctor and more than a few people had been suitably stunned when she didn't return his attention.

Could so many people really be wrong?

"This, um…this isn't going to be a problem, right doc?"

"What?" Keller looked up at her as if she'd just realized Remy was there.

"Me and Ronon…"

"Oh. No. No. We, um, we're not…we were never….I have a boyfriend, so. Yeah. No."

Remy smiled, relieved. "Good. 'Cause I really like him. A lot," she carefully slid off the table and grabbed her jacket, "and I'd hate to have to fight you for him. I'd probably kick your ass and I don't need another note like that on my record."

Remy winked, and Jennifer wasn't sure if she was kidding or not. "See you 'round Doc."

_TBC_


	6. Day ThirtyOne

**A/N: **This chapter was inevitable. I thought about making it earlier, but decided not to. Hope you enjoy! -pj

**Disclaimer**: If I owned them, they wouldn't be getting cancelled.

_Day Thirty-One_

"And how long have you been seeing each other, again?" Scooter huffed, trying, as always, to keep the pace with Remy.

"A little over a month," she answered, only slightly out of breath. She held off continuing as they passed a group of scientists, "and nothing."

Scooter shrugged, "I don't get it. You're sure he's straight right?"

"_Oh_ yeah. I'm sure," she grinned, in her minds eye remembering many evenings spent on the couch or the peir or the balcony with Ronon while they rounded second base with flying colors.

"Focus, Remy," Scooter snapped his fingers in front of her face and she blinked back to the present, "Maybe you should ask him," he gasped for air, "he'd be crazy not to be crazy about you."

Remy glanced at him suspiciously, "Why so nice all of a sudden? What about all that talk about 'forbidden fruit'?"

"I want you to be happy, Ace. And you've never taken my advice before, why would you start now?"

"True enough." Remy nodded.

Scooter shrugged, "To be honest, I'm kind of surprised you two weren't going at it after the first mission, that's always been your style."

"Ronon's different than other guys I…hey!" Remy reached over and punched him hard in the arm, knocking her running mate off balance, "You're practically my brother, what happened to defending my honor?"

He rubbed dramatically at his arm, "don't you have to have an honor to defend in the first place?" He grinned at her and took off full speed down the hall, an indignant Remy on his heels.

"You're _so_ gonna pay for that you little rat!" She shouted, sprinting after him.

Scooter seemed to have stumbled across his second wind and stayed out ahead of Remy for three flights of stairs and two hallways before she caught him just outside one of the weight training rooms. She pulled up beside him and grabbed him around his neck, putting him down into a headlock while pulling one of his arms behind his back. Scooter used his other arm to reach behind, trying to find a weak point in Remy's stance, although the whole thing was made twice as difficult as they were both laughing hysterically.

"_Ahem_."

Both Remy and Scooter looked up to see Colonel John Sheppard staring at them, his hands on his hips, the look on his face a cross between amused and perplexed. Slightly behind him Ronon had his arms folded over his chest with his eyebrows raised.

Disentangling themselves from one another, they both stood up straight and made to salute.

John returned the gesture somewhat sloppily, "at ease and, um…carry on," he added with a smile, "see you later Ronon." He turned and walked away from the rest.

Remy's cheeks were red with embarrassment, just because she still felt twelve years old most of the time didn't mean she had to act like it! And in front of her CO and her Ronon no less.

Scooter, taking his queue to leave, bumped Remy slightly with his shoulder as he walked by, "maybe you're just sending the wrong signals."

Remy glared at him as he jogged away and then smiled when she realized Ronon was still watching her.

"Ready?" She asked as she started to jog in the opposite direction. She felt Ronon fall into step beside her.

"What was that all about?" he said, not sure if he was referring to the comment or what had preceded it.

Remy shrugged, "nothing." They ran for a while in silence, both lost in their own thoughts, before she spoke up again.

"Actually. You know what? Not nothing," she slowed to a stop.

Curious, Ronon did as well and turned to face her as they both caught their breath.

"I have a question."

Ronon waited.

"Why haven't we slept together?"

Ronon looked confused for a moment and then shrugged, "What about that night we watched The Godfather?"

She shook her head, smiling at his tendency to take things literally, "no. Not 'sleep' together like 'fall asleep watching a movie and wake up the next day horrified at the way your hair looks'. I mean _sleep together_ sleep together."

Ronon paused and then, catching her meaning, he shifted on his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Sheppard says Earth girls like to wait."

Remy couldn't help it, she laughed. "Sheppard? That's where you're getting your love advice?"

He shrugged.

Shaking her head and still smiling, Remy stepped forward, encroaching on his personal space.

"Did Sheppard tell you what this means?" Then she reached up, took a handful of Ronon's sweaty shirt and yanked down until his face was level with hers. Then she took her other hand and pressed it to the back of his head and pulled his lips to hers. Kissing him long and hard and hot and leaving no room for mistaking her intention.

When Ronon was allowed to pull back several seconds later his eyes had darkened several shades and his voice came out in a growl, "I don't need Sheppard to tell me that."

He bent to kiss her again, this time turning to push her roughly against the wall and she suppressed a squeal at the sudden movement. To both their surprise the 'wall' turned out to be a door and they stumbled forward into a darkened supply closet.

Remy thought the door shut again and grinned against Ronon's mouth when he showed his approval of the action with a low, vibrating sound that came deep from his throat. She closed her eyes and wrapped her legs around his waist, as he left off kissing her mouth and moved down to her neck.

When her shoulders started to shake he tore his lips and teeth away and looked up, only to find Remy's face red and biting her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"What?" He asked, curious about her laughter and irritated at the interruption.

She shook her head, "never mind. Keep going."

"What is it?" Ronon asked again, starting to smile himself.

"Did Sheppard teach you this too?" she barely got out before dissolving in giggles.

Ronon growled to keep from laughing and descended on her lips again, determined to turn that infectious giggle into euphoric screams.

---

Ronon settled down with his tray at the table Teyla and Sheppard. The two had been laughing about something one or the other had just said. They paused when Ronon joined them, and exchanged a look of interest.

"You look happy, Ronon," Teyla said in a voice Sheppard had often heard her use when trying to coax information out of shy townspeople.

Ronon glanced up at them, shrugged and continued eating. Sheppard watched him a moment longer.

"He doesn't look happy," he paused, "he looks…pleased. And amused with himself."

Teyla eyed the Satedan a little bit closer.

Sheppard smirked, "a girl. It's a girl isn't it?"

Ronon didn't answer, but that didn't stop John from speculating.

"You believe Ronon's good mood is caused by a woman?"

"Have you ever seen that look on someone's face before?"

Teyla paused and then nodded, "yes."

"And what has that person usually just finished doing?" John continued with the leading questions, his smiling eyes still watching as Ronon ate his food with unusual enthusiasm.

Suddenly Teyla's eyes widened, understanding dawning like a new day. She looked away to hide a surprisingly Sheppard-like smirk.

"So who's the lucky lady, big guy?" Sheppard balled up his napkin and dropped it on his tray, leaning his crossed arms on the top, "It's Remy isn't it?"

Ronon, having finished, pushed aside his own tray and looked up, meeting Sheppard's inquisitive, slightly teasing look squarely.

Sheppard looked taken aback. "I'm right? Really?"

"Yeah," and then he added at John's surprised expression, "what?"

"Nothing, just after the other day I thought…" Sheppard shook his head, "nothing." He looked at Ronon for several more seconds and then nodded, "I'm happy for you Ronon. If she makes you happy, then I'm happy."

"As am I." Teyla added, "when do you see her again?"

Ronon smiled and gathered his tray, standing to leave the table, "Now."

"Where is she?" Sheppard asked as his friend started to walk away.

"Don't know," He called back, not turning around.

"What if she's busy?"

"Don't care."

Sheppard smiled and shook his head. He had no doubts the Satedan would find what he was after.

"Ronon and Remy, huh?"

"It appears so."

He nodded, looking back up to where the man had disappeared through the doors, "has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"Yes. It has."

_TBC_


	7. Day Fourty

**A/N: **Sorry this chap is so short, I promise to post the next chap tomorrow. -pj

**Disclaimer**: If I owned them, they wouldn't be getting cancelled.

_Day Fourty_

"I'm going to be late."

"For what?" Ronon didn't open his eyes, Remy's warm breath tickled the bare skin of his chest, his left hand played with the ends of her soft brown hair lazily.

"For whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing today."

Ronon grunted and the vibration of his chest against her cheek made her giggle. "Me too."

She let her fingers trace a delicate path up his chest and rested them over his feeding scar.

"I should go," she whispered, secretly hoping he objected.

Ronon shook his head, pushing his hand into her hair until he was cupping the back of her head, "no."

Remy smiled, she leaned up to kiss, first his scar and then his lips. She sighed and leaned back.

"If you insist."

"I do," Ronon brought his other hand to cup her face, running his callused thumb lightly across her cheek, "Where are you from? On Earth."

Remy seemed surprised at first by the question and then looked away, laying her head back down on his chest.

"It doesn't matter."

Ronon frowned, not expecting this answer.

"To who?"

She sighed deeply and the path of her fingers gave way to tapping, a motion he'd come to recognize as a sign of discomfort.

"To me. Remember that movie from the first night? Well, back home, we got a lot of those. Tornadoes I mean. When I was eighteen an F3 took my brothers and my father. They were all the family I had left in the world," she stopped for a moment and Ronon listened to the heavy silence while he waited for her to continue, " it destroyed my town, my home…everything. I knew Scooter had joined the Marines the year before, but that wasn't for me. But I couldn't stick around there…I stayed with a friend and graduated high school and when I did, I joined the Air Force the next day." She was quiet for a while and then turned to look up at Ronon again, "Earth is nothing to me."

Ronon was watching her closely, he saw the tears she tried to blink back. It explained a lot. Not just the movie night incident, but also why she had been so upset after the whole thing with Alves. She'd been afraid of being sent back to Earth.

"And Atlantis?" He continued quietly, "What is that? To you?"

Remy smiled and all traces of the tears disappeared, "it's where you are."

She leaned in again, wishing to lose the sight of her memories in his kiss. Ronon closed the distance between them without question, understanding her need and more than happy to help.

_TBC_


	8. Day FiftyTwo

**A/N: **Haha, this one was fun. Enjoy! -pj

**Disclaimer**: Yeah. Right.

_Day Fifty-Two_

"Have you seen my red running shorts?" Remy called from the main room of her quarters, picking up and subsequently throwing aside piles of books and shoes and cast off blankets.

"You left them in my quarters," Ronon answered from the bathroom where he'd just finished his shower.

"What? When?"

"The last time we were there."

"Wait. As in _two _days ago?" Her voice raised an octave and a few decibels.

"Yeah." Ronon pulled on his pants and stepped to the doorway giving her a funny look, confused as to why she seemed to worked up.

Remy made a disgusted noise, throwing aside a pair of blue pumps in anger, "Well why didn't you say anything _then_,? I need them for my run later today with Scooter."

Ronon walked over to the bed to retrieve his shirt. "Why don't you do that kick-boxing thing you've been doing?"

"Because, Ronon, today is Wednesday. Wednesday, Friday and Sunday I run. You _know_ that."

Ronon crossed his arms at her, "You're yelling."

"Damn right I'm yelling. I can't believe you were so inconsiderate, you could have said _something_. I need those shorts!" She snatched her com off her bedside table and stomped out the door. She'd made it all the way out into the hall, almost to the corner that led to the transporter, before she realized she was fuming…absolutely livid…over shorts.

She rolled her yes at herself and shook her head.

_Damn PMS._

She did an about face to return to her quarters and ended up running directly into Ronon's chest. He reached out to steady her and then withdrew his hands from her arms quickly, as if worried she would bite his head off for that too.

Tears sprang unbidden to Remy's eyes and she bit her lip.

"I'm sorry. Ronon it's not your fault," she began, not realizing until it was too late, that she was rambling, "I forgot my stupid shorts in your quarters and it was unfair of me to think you would know my schedule when you have so many other things on your plate."

By the time she was finished she was just short of sobbing hysterically, which only served to further Ronon's confusion and concern. She stepped forward, folding herself up in his embrace and he automatically wrapped his arms around her.

"I-I'm sorry I y-yelled at you-u," she hiccupped, turning her face away from his chest so he could hear her.

The sheer absurdity of the situation finally got to him and his shoulders shook with the effort not to laugh. "It's alright," he said, kissing the top of her hair.

Remy stepped back. Wiping her eyes, she slapped him good-naturedly.

"Don't laugh. I'm hormonal."

Sidestepping that particular land-mine, Ronon slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, guiding them both back into the crew barracks.

"C'mon, I'll walk you to my quarters and we'll get your running shorts."

Snuggling further into Ronon's side, Remy nodded, "sounds good."

_TBC_


	9. Day SixtySix

**A/N: **No, Remy's not pregnant. I decided that was just too much drama in an already kind of difficult pairing. This chap was sparked by the song 'Feel that Fire' by Dierks Bently, if you care to know. -pj

**Disclaimer**: Nope. Still Not mine.

_Day Sixty-Six_

Remy swam in Ronon's shirt. It was both too long and too big but she didn't seem too keen on giving it up so that _he_ could actually wear it. Sheppard had called him to go on an impromptu mission in twenty and he stood completely naked, wandering the room looking for his boots and pants, since he'd already found his shirt. He looked over when he heard Remy giggling. She'd picked up some scrap of paper off her bedside table and was holding it out in front of her with one eye closed.

"What are you doing?" He asked, spotting his pants and going to pull them out from under a pillow on the couch.

"Oh, just imagining what you would look like in a loin cloth," she dropped her hand and grinned at him, "I like."

Ronon approached her in such a way that made Remy's grin falter and her heart rate quicken. He leaned over her on the bed, his arms propping him up on either side.

"I need my shirt."

"I disagree," She said, raising and eyebrow and flicking her eyes down at his chest and solid abdomen.

"Remy," he said in a low, coaxing voice.

"Ronon," she said, imitating him.

He sighed, dropping his shoulders slightly, "fine, I'll just go back to my room like this."

She shrugged, "fine."

"Fine. I'm sure you won't mind that I have to walk past the rest of the female barracks, including the women's locker room, to do it."

Remy's challenging smile dissolved into a frown, the possesive glint that amused him so flashed in her eyes. She finally started to sit up, causing Ronon to have to stand as well, and she held her hands up over her head.

With a smirk, Ronon pulled his shirt off her and dropped the thin cloth over himself.

He reached down and cupped the back of her head with one hand, drawing her into a long kiss that warmed every part of her, including those that were now exposed to the cool air. He pulled back, tucking some hair, now loose around her shoulders, behind her ear.

"So what are you going to do today while I'm gone?" He stepped away and went in search of his holster and gun so he could go meet Sheppard in the gate room.

Remy reached for a robe and made herself busy making the bed, "Oh, um, Teyla and I have plans. She's not going on the mission with you, right?"

Ronon shook his head and frowned at his holster, which he'd found empty, under the edge of the bed. "She went trading yesterday with some friends from Athos. She's getting back later today."

Remy nodded and reached out to fluff the pillows. Ronon noted this with interest, since he knew Remy was usually doing well to get her clothes folded and in a drawer, let alone make the bed and fluff the pillows.

He fastened his holster around his hip and then crossed his arms, waiting.

Remy avoided his gaze and went back to smoothing out the blankets. Then adjusted the pillows on top and fluffed them again.

"Remy."

"Yes," she said, not looking up.

"Hand it over."

"Hand what over?" She chanced a glance at him and looked away quickly, only affirming Ronon's suspicion.

He continued to stare. Finally, after she'd smoothed the blankets and fluffed the pillows three times more and Ronon had yet to budge, Remy sighed dejectedly. She picked up one of the pillows to reveal his blaster lying innocently at the head of the mattress. She twirled the weapon a few times around her finger and then handed it to him.

"Have I told you lately that you're no fun?"

Ronon slipped his gun into it's place on his hip, kissed her again and turned for the door.

"Yes, actually. You have."

---

Sheppard glanced sideways at Ronon. He hadn't said a word since they'd left the infirmary after their checkups and, come to think of it, he hadn't been all that talkative on the jumper or in the debriefing before the checkups either.

He sighed, rubbing his shoulder where the weight of his p90 always seemed to dig in on his tac vest. "Look, I said I was sorry."

Ronon turned a slow glare on him.

"Don't look at me that way, it's not like I planned this. I didn't like spending three hours locked in a decrepit old science lab with Rodney and his cronies any more than you did."

"If you hadn't shot the door controls-"

"Don't act like you weren't thinking it."

Ronon just shook his head and they continued on down the hall toward the transporters, that is until Ronon realized he was alone. He turned back and saw Sheppard standing in front of Teyla's quarters.

"What are you doing?" He asked, returning to his COs side.

Sheppard waved his hand over the chime, "I thought I'd stop and see if Teyla wanted to come get something to eat."

As he finished speaking the doors swished open and the smell of acetone and the sound of laughter flooded out into the hallway. Teyla wore a glittery green top and a long dark skirt with a slit up to her thigh and she smiled sweetly at two of the members of her team.

"John, Ronon. You have returned."

"Uh, yeah." John said, having some difficulty finding words to fit his tongue. Her eyelashes were huge and thick, her cheeks rosy and pure and had her eyes always been that golden brown color? To distract himself, and hopefully look less like he was staring, he peered over Teyla's shoulder into her quarters.

There were bags of fabric and produce and supplies strewn about her quarters like a post Christmas morning apocalypse. On the floor in the midst of it all were five women sitting in a circle, nail polish and various forms of makeup scattered between them. Among them was Remy, who was working on applying purple eye shadow to one of Teyla's Athosian friends.

She looked up when Teyla opened the door and grinned.

"Hey, how'd the mission go?" Remy stood and made her way over to them. Ronon looked down, trying to figure out why she was walking so strangely. Her jeans were rolled up to mid-calf and her footwear consisted of some sort of sandal that was keeping her newly red toenails separate. His gaze traveled upward and found her fingernails were painted black, matching her shirt.

"We just came to see if you wanted to come get something to eat…what, ah…what's going on here," John said, feeling a little excited and a little awkward, and he was reminded of when he was ten years old and his best friend Gordy had convinced him to help crash Gordy's older sister's sleepover.

"That is kind but we have already eaten."

"I can see that," Sheppard caught sight of six discarded and empty trays piled up on the table.

"And I'm doing makeovers." Remy said proudly.

"Why?" Ronon eyed the rest of the women still sitting on the floor. They were whispering excitedly in their native tongue, passing around a small handheld mirror and ogling each other's newly colored faces.

Remy gave him a strange look, "why not?" Then she tilted her head and reached over to swipe her hand over the door controls, effectively sealing out their male intruders.

Sheppard shook his head as if clearing it and stared at the door a moment longer.

"That was weird."

Sheppard shrugged, wondering if he'd ever be able to get the image of Teyla looking so…glowy, out of his head.

"Yeah, that's one word for it."

_TBC_


	10. Day SeventyEight

**A/N: **Sorry if this chap is overly-mushy and all the typos are mine own...it's late. -pj

**Disclaimer**: I wish I may, I wish I might...

_Day Seventy-Eight_

"Her name was Melena. We were from the same district on Sateda," Ronon and Remy sat side by side near enough to the fire for it to warm their faces and hands, but were still able to benefit from the heat coming off one another. Remy lifted her clay mug of Athosian wine and sipped it, listening carefully to Ronon's story, "I joined the military when I was fourteen, made Specialist three years later. I was injured in battle one night and she tended to me. She usually worked the Children's Level, but during TOC all…"

"TOC?" Remy tilted her head at him and Ronon was briefly brought himself back to the present to clarify.

"Times of Crises. Half my infantry division was in the hospital that night and all available nurses and doctors were called in to help with the wounded."

"And that's when you first saw her," Remy smiled softly, picturing an adolescent, smitten Ronon.

He nodded. They both looked up when some of the Athosians came to bid them goodnight, Teyla, John, Rodney and Jennifer among them.

"Thank you both for coming. It means a great deal to have those one cares about at the Welcoming Ceremony," Teyla smiled warmly, gently passing the sleeping Torren into John's waiting arms.

Ronon nodded at her and Remy responded with a grateful, "thank you for allowing me to attend."

Teyla acknowledged the junior officer's gratitude and the rest of her people wandered off toward the tents.

"Don't stay up too late you two," John said with a smirk, turning to follow Rodney and Jennifer toward the sleeping area, Teyla holding onto one of his arms while he cradled the newly Welcomed Torren in the other.

"Likewise, Sheppard," Ronon called out, a similar smirk on his lips when he saw John make to follow Teyla inside her _personal _tent. The Colonel made a gesture with his hands that Remy didn't recognize, but was able to guess it's meaning at the way Ronon chuckled when he saw it.

"Do you think I would have liked her?" She asked after a few minutes of staring into the fire.

"The way you like Keller?" Ronon teased.

"That's not fair. I've got no beef with the doctor."

"As long as she stays away from me, you mean," he said, amused as always by Remy's slightly possessive streak.

"Naturally," Remy smiled, nudging his shoulder. She looked back at the flames, her mood sobering, "Really. Do you think I would have liked her?"

Ronon sighed, "everyone loved Melena."

"You more than others, I guess."

"No," he shook his head, surprising Remy with this answer, "I was just better at it."

She watched him closely for a few moments until he turned to meet her gaze.

"You blame yourself for her death." It wasn't a question.

Ronon hesitated, "I should have made her leave."

"What are you talking about?" she gave him a confused, almost disbelieving look and frowned. "Ronon there was nothing you could have done. She'd decided to stay and that was what she was going to do, no one could have convinced her otherwise," she spoke softly but vehemently, looking deeply troubled by his feeling of responsibility in the matter.

"She chose to stay so that those who didn't get the chance to leave would know that their lives were worth something too. So that the last few minutes of her life wouldn't be cheapened with regrets. Whether or not she made the right decision isn't for you or anyone else to say," she realized she'd let her mouth run away with her and Ronon's stare was uncomfortably heavy on her skin.

"You sound like you speak from experience," he commented.

She set aside her empty mug and pulled the blanket she'd been given closer to her body to give herself an excuse to avoid his gaze for a few moments, "yeah, well, I know a thing or two about headstrong women," she muttered.

Ronon 'hmm'ed in response and finished his own mug of wine.

"How long ago did she die?" Remy asked quietly after a few moments, scooting closer to Ronon on their small wooden bench as the cool of night chilled her outer extremities.

"Almost ten years."

Remy looked taken aback, "and I'm the first since..?"

Ronon looked at her and the answer was written plainly in his eyes.

She blinked and let her gaze drop to the ground at their feet, "that's a long time."

He squeezed her hand, causing her to look at him again.

"It was worth the wait."

_TBC_


	11. Day NinetyNine

**A/N: **Well **_warrior of the shadow_** asked way back in Ch. 5 what Remy's reaction to hurt Ronon would be...well, my dear **_warrior_**, here is your answer. -pj

**Disclaimer**: See any of the preceding chapters.

_Day Ninety-Nine_

It was like the first time she'd pulled 9Gs in a jet. Her knees felt wobbly, she could hardly breathe and her stomach was threatening to expel the lunch she'd had four hours earlier. She stood motionless in the hallway outside the infirmary, hands on her knees, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Asura, M7R-227. Lantea, ATL-984," she took a deep breath, wanting to rid the image of Ronon's unconscious body on the infirmary bed from her mind, "Manaria, MF3-235. Ballkan, MH9-546."

She'd only stepped inside the infirmary for a moment. Long enough to see Ronon on the bed, hooked up to a heart monitor and looking so ungodly pale. Long enough to see the bandage around his chest and abdomen bulking under his white scrubs. Long enough to be thoroughly and completely freaked out.

Long enough to be seen.

"Lieutenant?" John stepped out into the hallway and saw Remy standing off to one side, her p90 dangling uselessly from her tac vest, her hands braced on her knees and her eyes closed tightly.

"Yes sir?" She said weakly, not even looking up.

"Are you…reciting planets and their gate addresses?" he asked somewhat hesitantly.

Remy smiled as best she could and stood up, shrugging, "some guys do their states and capitols, I do planets and gate addresses."

"He's going to be okay," he said quietly after a moment, "you know that, right?"

Remy inhaled sharply and looked at the ceiling and then closed her eyes against threatening tears. No. She hadn't known that. She hadn't been in the infirmary long enough to find out.

"You're sure?" she asked shakily.

"I'm positive," John assured her quickly, "One of the hybrids got the drop on him and the stab wound was pretty severe but Doc patched him up. A couple days of rest, a few more on light duty and he'll be back to 100 percent."

Remy nodded, as if affirming his statement to herself, "okay," she clasped her hands on top of her head, forcing her breaths to come for evenly, "thank you sir." Out of the corner of her eye she saw him nod once and turn to go back inside. She wanted to follow, but she wasn't sure she could trust her legs yet. The relief at knowing seemed to be making it harder to move than the agony of not knowing had.

John thought that perhaps there was something more he should say to the girl. He wasn't blind or stupid. He knew Ronon cared about Remy. And he knew, even before he saw the near ghostly pallor of her skin or heard her reciting gate addresses in an attempt to keep from losing it completely, that Remy cared just as much for his best friend.

His eyes fell on Teyla as he started to enter the infirmary and he stopped, biting his lip. He and his team had logged more than their fair share of hours in Infirmary vigils, but he knew from experience that it was differnet, harder, when it was someone you cared for the way Remy cared for Ronon.

He turned back.

"Okay, look. I wish I could tell you that this is going to get easier, but I can't."

Remy turned to look at him, surprised that he was still talking to her, and John continued before he could think better of it.

"Every time you walk through that gate there's a possibility you won't be coming back. The same for Ronon. And there's always the chance one or both of you will land yourselves in the infirmary after a too-close call with the Wraith or the Genii or some weird fatal virus found on a seemingly harmless flower," he gave her a serious look, "but that's what we signed up for. It's going to be hard every time and more than likely it will scare the shit out of you. Every time. But _this_ time, everything is fine. That's all that matters," he paused to make sure she was listening, "you'll drive yourself crazy if it's not."

Remy looked shell-shocked for a moment and her eyes were wide with the Colonel's words. Finally she blinked and looked at the floor, muttering, "Yessir."

Sheppard's face softened slightly and he let his body relax. He turned so he was half facing the door and motioned at her, "C'mon. He wants to see you."

Remy brightened but she frowned skeptically, "he said that?"

Sheppard grinned a knowing, lopsided grin and shrugged, "he didn't have to."

---

Remy perched on one of the doctor's stools, one of the ones with the squeaky wheels, turning back and forth quietly. Mostly because the other chairs made her feel short, which honestly wasn't saying much since she wasn't that tall to begin with, but still…

She was alone now, the rest of Ronon's team had retired for the night at the Doctor's orders, but Remy had firmly refused to move. Sheppard said it was because she hadn't yet developed a healthy fear of 'Doc and her needles'. Remy knew it was because she wouldn't be able to sleep one moment until she knew for absolute certainty that Ronon would be okay. And no amount of test results or doctor's assurances could do that. Only Ronon could do that.

So she sat, alone in the darkened infirmary, with a stool that squeaked, chewing her thumbnail nervously and staring off into space. She'd managed to talk Scooter into taking care of her vest and p90 for her but she still wore her uniform slacks and black t-shirt and some of her brown hair had come loose and was falling into her eyes.

Remy was so lost in thought that the sound of Ronon's voice startled her.

"You're awake," she said, smiling bravely, hoping he didn't notice the way she'd jumped when he said her name.

"So are you," Ronon raised an eyebrow, meaning the comment to point out how late it was and that she should be in bed.

Remy's smile faltered and she looked down at her fingers, playing nervously with the edge of his blanket.

"Kinda' wish I wasn't. Then this would all be a bad dream, huh?"

Ronon frowned, turning to look at her more fully, "I'm fine Remy. Been hurt worse than this plenty of times."

"Jeez, don't say _that,_" she blinked hard, hoping the tears that kept threatening would rush back inside her where they belong, "now I'll never get to sleep."

Ronon watched her carefully and Remy talked through his concerned silence.

"I've been sitting her for hours and hours and all I can think about is all the horrible things that could have happened. This time, last time, next time?" Her words ran together, and jumped from thought to thought as if she wasn't really listening to what she was saying.

"I keep remembering all the mission reports I've read, how many times people end up here, injured. How many of them end up dead. And then there's Col. Sheppard's voice repeating what he said over and over. Torturing me. '_I wish I could say it will get easier_', '_every time we go through the gate there's a possibility we won't be coming back'_. '_That's what we signed up for_'." She finally looked at him, her eyes looking as if her halting ramblings had suddenly led her to some clear and unwanted conclusion. "That's it, isn't Ronon? We signed up for this. _I_ signed up for this. When I kissed you that day in the gym. I _signed up for this_."

Ronon continued to stare at her, her tired gaze remaining steady on him. He got the feeling that she expected him to answer, but he wasn't quite sure of the question.

"What are you saying, Remy?"

She breathed slowly for several moments. Watching him but not really seeing him. She shook her head.

"I don't know," she said finally and looked down at his hand, that had at some point laid itself over hers. Shook her head slowly, "I don't know."

Ronon squeezed her hand, his gut twisted with apprehension. He wasn't sure what he was apprehensive about, but it worried him nonetheless.

He'd never known his gut to be wrong.

_TBC_


	12. Day OneOhTwo

**A/N: **Holy cow this chap is long. And just chock full of D-R-A-M-A. But it was inevitable, but there's s'more lighthearted chaps ahead as well. Enjoy! -pj

**Disclaimer**: See any of the preceding chapters.

_Day One-Oh-Two_

Ronon sat alone at his table in the Mess, staring at his food and eating it slowly. Deliberately. His other three teammates talking and laughing amongst themselves so they didn't notice, the way the rest of the Mess Hall did, the giant 'I'm Pissed, Leave Me Alone' stamp on his forehead made their way over to his table.

Sheppard dropped his tray across from Ronon and Teyla sat down beside him, leaving Rodney to the chair next to Ronon. As soon as McKay sat down Ronon turned his head slowly to look at him. Even through his dreds Rodney could feel the heat of Ronon's hateful glare. He glanced over out of the corner of his eye, replaced the Roast Beef sandwich that had been halfway to his mouth, and moved to the end of the table so he had a chair between himself and Ronon.

Satisfied, Ronon returned to his food, although the little intimidation stunt had earned him an angry look from Teyla and a frown from John.

"Has something been bothering you, Buddy?" John asked lightly, opening a bag of potato chips and eyeing the alien thoughtfully.

"No." Ronon answered gruffly. John and Teyla exchanged a look.

"Really? Because you seem, uh, more…homicidal than usual," McKay pointed out, nervously and began shoveling food into his mouth without pause.

Ronon turned a dark look on him, which only made Rodney eat faster.

"Perhaps you should just tell us what is bothering you," Teyla drew Ronon's attention.

The Satedan grunted and went back to his plate, "drop it."

"Well I _would_, but that tactic hasn't worked too well for me over the past three days, in the span of which, you've sent three of my marines to the infirmary for stitches or concussions, and off-world you almost blew a hole in one of our allies," Sheppard told him hotly, "so, _perhaps _you should_ tell us _what is_ bothering _you."

Ronon glared at Sheppard for several moments, clenching and unclenching his jaw as he worked his anger down to a more manageable level. Unfortunately for him, John was one of the few people in the universe who wasn't afraid of Ronon, and he met his glare head on, refusing to back down.

Ronon's eyes flickered to the doorway when he saw a familiar brown ponytail in the corner of his eye. Remy caught sight of him and quickly made her way toward a table on the other side of the room where her team plus a few others were eating, and sat with her back to him.

Avoiding him.

Just like she'd been doing for the past three days.

John noticed his divided attention, and looked down when he saw Ronon's hands tighten into fists in their spots resting on the table. He turned sideways in his chair, catching Teyla's look of confusion as he followed Ronon's gaze across the room.

_Remy_.

"So that's it," John said, twisting back around in his chair, "girl trouble."

"She hasn't said more than two words to me since I checked out of the infirmary," the suddenly talkative Ronon began, "every time I come by she's busy or off-world. Every time she sees me coming she goes the other way. I know something's wrong but she won't stand still long enough to tell me what it is." He was still staring a hole in the back of Remy's head but if she noticed she was doing a great job of pretending not to.

John looked pleadingly at Teyla. Relationship advice was definitely outside his comfort zone, he'd been reminded of that after hearing of how Remy reacted when she heard where Ronon was getting his advice on 'Earth girls' from.

Teyla thought for a moment and then looked at her friend, "are you asking for advice?"

Ronon shrugged and nodded.

"Then it would be this: if she will not talk, you ought to make her listen."

Sheppard raised his eyebrows and punctuated her point with his fork, "exactly."

Ronon sat back in his chair and looked between John and Teyla a few times and then over John's shoulder at Remy, who'd just gotten up from her table and was leaving the Mess.

Alone.

Ronon grabbed his tray and stood. He hesitated before going after her, wishing to thank his teammates and unsure of how to go about doing so.

Sheppard grinned at his discomfort, "we understand."

Teyla nodded her agreement and urged him, "go after her, Ronon."

---

"Remy, wait up."

Remy closed her eyes at the sound of his voice and reluctantly slowed to a stop.

"Ronon, hey." She turned to face him as he pulled up beside her. She smiled politely while nervously twisting and untwisting the cap to her water bottle.

"Can we talk?" He stood with his arms crossed, giving her that look that made her want to straighten her posture.

"Um, well I have a meeting right now, so I'm kind of…" she pointed over her shoulder at the transporter.

"After your meeting then?"

She bit her lip, "I, uh, I have a thing." She knew it sounded lame and dropped her eyes to one side so she wouldn't have to see the range of negative emotions crossing his face before he smoothed it into a mask. She tightened her grip on her half-empty water bottle.

"Then how about now," he didn't wait for her to interrupt with another excuse, "why have you been avoiding me?"

Remy pressed a hand to her forehead and then rested it at the base of her pony-tail, "I'm not avoiding you Ronon-"

"You're not?"

"No. I'm not."

"Then what do you call what you're doing right now?" He cut her off sharply, annoyed at her evading the issue.

Remy stiffened, "Right now? I call this talking. And what I'm doing later I call being busy," she said defensively, raising her eyebrows as if daring him to challenge her.

For a half second Ronon's neutral mask faltered and softened, "You know you can tell me anything, Remy," he said quietly.

Not expecting the sudden gentle tone, she sucked in a quick breath, closing her eyes briefly.

"I know."

This seemed to be the wrong thing to say as it made Ronon's body tense more than before.

"Then when you're ready to tell me the _truth_," he emphasized the word and Remy looked at him sharply, "you know where to find me."

He turned, leaving Remy alone and unsure of how to answer.

---

Remy stood outside Ronon's door for a long while before chiming.

She had had a meeting, she wasn't lying about that. But the 'thing' she had to do afterward turned out to be two full hours of wandering the inskirts and outskirts of the city, trying to make sense of her jumbled brain. So many things she meant to say, thought she should say and knew she never would say.

But in the end, when it came right down to it, it turned out that it was something Ronon _didn't_ say that made up her mind. She just couldn't get rid of the image of his face, his eyes, how hurt and guarded they'd looked when he realized she was lying to him.

It wasn't something she could live with.

Ronon looked over his shoulder when he heard the chime the first time and, taking one more deep breath of ocean air, left the balcony and crossed his room to open the door.

Unsurprisingly, it was Remy. She was hunched down into her blue hoody with the words 'without ME it's just AWESO' making it look almost two sizes too big. Her hands were stuffed into the pockets of her favorite jeans and, although she'd been kicking her boots at the floor, when he opened the door the movement stilled completely.

She looked up at him and he could tell by her red eyes that she'd been fighting, and probably mostly losing, a battle against tears for quite some time now.

"Can I come in?" Her voice came out quiet but even.

He stepped aside and she accepted the silent invitation into his quarters. She stood a bit awkwardly in the middle of the room and he leaned against the wall by the balcony doors and waited.

Remy avoided his gaze at all costs.

"Remember when you said I could tell you anything?"

He nodded, his face impassive.

"Okay, well…first off, you're right. I was avoiding you. I needed some time on my own to think. I needed some space."

"You could have just asked."

Remy shook her head, "no. I couldn't have."

"Why not?"

"Because you would have wanted to know _why_ I needed space. And I would have ended up trying to talk to you before I had a chance to really think on my own and, believe me, that never ends well."

Ronon was quiet for a while, "so you're ready now?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "I have no idea…I just couldn't…stay away anymore."

"I don't understand why you were staying away in the first place," he said it mostly to himself, but Remy heard.

"You almost _died_," her voice suddenly up a few octaves and Ronon looked at her, surprised at the outburst. "You think that's easy for me to bounce back from? I'll probably have nightmares for the rest of my life!" Her tone was accusatory. Desperate,

What little self-control she'd managed to regain before coming to his quarters was squashed in an instant and she wiped furiously at her eyes. She turned away but turned back to him just as quickly, "I didn't ask for this, okay? I didn't ask to love you, but I do," she spat, her red rimmed eyes flashing, "I didn't ask to care so much about you're well being every time you walk through the gate. I just wanted the hell off Earth. I wanted to do stuff nobody else had ever done before. _That's all_. I didn't ask for this!"

"So what, you want out?" Ronon shot back, having had his full of being run over by Remy's temper

"No!" Remy nearly shouted, "I _don't_. That's what's so frustrating about this whole thing. I _should_ want this to be over," she shook her head, this part was still a bit fuzzy even to her, "it was fun at first. It was a rush to be sneaking around with one of Atlantis' finest. But it's not fun anymore. It's real now and usually when the fun runs out I get scarce," she pressed her hands to her face. It felt like she was drowning, her head wouldn't think straight and her chest wouldn't take deep breaths.

Ronon was frowning, trying to put together what he knew about Remy, what he knew about women in general, and what he'd just heard her say. He hesitated and then did his best to reassure her.

"Remy, I'm still here. I'm fine."

"I know that," she mumbled, her voice muffled against her hands.

"And I can take care of myself," his attempt to comfort her seemed to have the opposite effect.

"You scared me, okay?" her hands flew from her eyes and she took a step forward.

Ronon just looked at her.

"Seeing you there…with the bandages and the monitors…" she sighed and shrugged again, wiping her palms on her jeans, "you scared the hell out of me. When Scooter came and told me," her voice cracked and she paused, and took several composure preserving breaths before continuing, "told me that you were in the infirmary…my stomach dropped clear to my feet. I freaked out, took off running and all I could think the entire time was 'what if'. What if this morning was the last time I talked to him? What if it was the last time I'll kiss him? What if I never see him again? What if I lose him?" She shook her head, at herself or the terrified musings he wasn't sure.

"I haven't been that scared in a long time. Not since my dad and my brothers...I just…I thought that…" she shifted on her feet and dropped her chin to her chest, "I thought that if I just kept my distance from you for a while, maybe what I felt – feel – for you would go away. Or maybe just lessen some. And then I wouldn't have to be that scared again."

Ronon uncrossed his arms and tilted his head, watching as a few silent tears make their way down her cheek and soak into the blue fabric of her sweatshirt.

"What's changed?" He asked quietly and waited for several minutes while she gathered her thoughts.

"Nothing. Except now I guess I realize that the thought of pushing you away terrifies me more than the thought of losing you ever could," she looked up at him, a brave determination in her eyes he'd come to recognize and expect, "And I'm sorry for the way I acted. And for lying to you about it."

She bit her lip and waited. After a few moments, he pushed away from the wall and approached her in that slow swagger of his. When he reached out to take her shoulders she forced herself to keep her eyes focused on his and not to flinch. Then he pulled her in to his chest and she wrapped her arms around him gratefully.

"I'm sorry I scared you," was all he said.

Remy smiled and rested in his embrace for a few moments, memorizing the steady thump of his heartbeat.

"Just answer me one thing," she said after a while, lifting her chin to rest on his chest so she could look up at him. He laced his fingers behind her back and nodded.

"How did a wraith hybrid get the drop on you, anyway?"

He looked almost pained by the question and she raised her eyebrows in an attempt to coax the answer out of him.

"He grabbed my hair," he said finally and somewhat reluctantly.

She frowned and stepped back slightly, her gaze bouncing between his long dreds and his face, "really?"

Ronon nodded, half expecting her to laugh.

She didn't, instead she looked thoughtful for a moment before asking tentatively, "are you very, um, attached to them? Your dreds?"

He shrugged one shoulder, "not really. Just never saw a reason to change."

Remy nodded, glanced one more time at his hair, which she'd grown rather fond of in the past few months, and made a regretful face before nodding, as if she'd just made a decision.

"Then I guess," leaning down, she pulled a switchblade from her boot and held it up to him, "live and learn."

_TBC_


	13. Day OneTwelve

**A/N: **Sorry about the delay, had a busy weekend. So we're back to the happy/fluffy stuff. It's so much more fun anyway! -pj

**Disclaimer**: Okay, I admit it. This whole thing was just part of my plot to get rid of Ronon's dreds that he wouldn't still have on the _show _if I owned it!

_Day One-Twelve_

"Personally, I blame Ronon," McKay griped from atop a gurney, his legs swung over the edge while his right foot rested in a vat of ice-water.

"And why is that Rodney?" Teyla asked tiredly, examining her own recently bandaged ankle.

"Look at him," McKay gestured wildly at the Satedan, who stood off to the side, arms crossed and leaning against the wall facing the door, "he looks practically… docile."

"Them's fightin' words, McKay," Sheppard mumbled. He glanced over his from his seat beside Rodney at the newly short-haired Ronon, who was watching disinterestedly as the scientist cotinued talking about him like he wasn't there.

"I wish I could say I was worried," Rodney continued, "but those villagers weren't the least bit intimidated by us and I'm inclined to agree with them. You're short, she's friendly and I don't even carry a gun. Ronon was the only thing we had going for us when we went on these stupid 'first contact' missions. And now…?" He shook his head in discouragement and turned to look for a nurse while Sheppard and Teyla exchanged a 'what are we going to do with him?' glance.

While Rodney was busy trying to catch a doctor, any doctor's, attention, Ronon pushed away from the wall and started for the door, passing him on his way.

"Don't worry, McKay," Ronon said, slapping his shoulder hard enough to make him slightly off balance and Sheppard had to grab his arm before he took a refreshing ice-water swim, "I'll remind you why you're afraid of me during our next sparring lesson."

"What the hel..Um, what?" Rodney's irritation at nearly tumbling off the gurney was replaced with trepidation when the warrior's words registered, "what – what do you mean?"

Ronon turned. Teyla and John looked amused and Rodney just seemed concerned. He shot them all a grin.

"You'll see."

"Yes, um, I'll see what? Exactly?"

His grin darkened slightly with mischief and he leaned forward, "that you should be _more_ afraid of me without ten pounds of hair to slow me down. Not less."

---

Ronon stood outside Remy's quarters, twirling his bokken absently while he waited for her to answer. He chimed twice more after trying her on the com. She was in her quarters, he was sure of that much, but why wasn't she answering?

Finally he sighed and entered the key code she'd given him. It was very like her to ask to borrow his bokken for her next training with Teyla, and then not be around for him to give it to her. He stepped inside planning to drop the weapon off and then go and find her, but stopped at the sound of loud music coming from a small device on her desk.

Remy was standing with her back to him using an orange feather duster to clean some of her smaller trinkets on a set of inlayed shelves along the far wall.

He stepped in further so the door could shut, and gently lay the wooden weapon down on the table trying not to make noise, not that she could hear him anyway over what he was pretty sure was 'Highway to Hell' by that band Lorne liked. He smiled and leaned casually against the wall, watching her in amusement while she shook her hips and bounced to the beat, occasionally singing into the orange part of her duster in a voice that was loud and off-key. When she moved on to playing what Sheppard called 'air guitar' he laughed out loud and, surprisingly, Remy heard him.

She spun on her heel, holding the duster like a baseball bat in preparation of bashing the intruder. But when she saw it was Ronon, her shoulders sagged and her cheeks turned slightly pink before she started to laugh along with him. After a moment in which she seemed to consider something, she shrugged and returned to dancing, this time when it got to the chorus, she beckoned him to join in.

Ronon just raised an eyebrow.

She stuck out her bottom lip and clasped her hands together pleadingly.

Ronon still didn't move so she shook her head, mouthed 'you're no fun'. Then, lifting her orange microphone once again and abandoning all pretense of housework, she ran over to her bed and jumped up on it, effectively ruining what little tidying up she'd actually managed to accomplish. When the song finished she flopped down onto her back, sprawled out across the mattress and breathing heavily from exertion. She rolled over to grab a small remote off her bedside table and lowered the volume and then looked at him.

"You should've danced with me," she told him with a frown.

Ronon shook his head, "not my kind of music."

Remy looked disappointed and then caught sight of the bokken on the table.

"Oh, you brought it, thanks." She stood and made her way over, leaving the duster on the bed, and picked up the lightweight training weapon. She twirled it around in her hands a few times, testing it's weight, "Teyla says she'll take me to trade for my own some time next week."

Ronon nodded about to respond and then glanced over her shoulder at the balcony doors she'd left wide open.

"You do know it's raining out, right?"

Remy whirled around and cursed at the sight of nearly torrential rain pouring in through the open doors. She tossed the bokken onto the bed, where it landed gently beside the duster, and ran to pull them closed. She stopped when some of the water hit her fingers and Ronon watched curiously when he stuck her hand outside experimentally.

She turned back at him, a slightly amazed smile on her face. "It's warm," she looked back outside and up at the gray-black sky, "like bathwater."

Ronon looked on silently as Remy took a few tentative steps out onto the balcony, her hands spread out to her sides, her face tilted up into the water. A bright pink light flashed across the sky and she jumped and Ronon instinctively took a few steps forward, almost bringing him out into the rain as well.

She looked at him with wide eyes, "what was that?"

Ronon laughed lightly at her blatant worry and was unable to stop himself from crossing the threshold and coming to stand under the water with her, "Thunder Light," he said, resting his hands on her arms.

Remy glanced up nervously at the sky, "is it dangerous?"

He shook his head and she relaxed. His ears perked up to a new song on Remy's music device and she smiled, recognizing the melody.

"Mmm, I love this song," she said, leaning forward to lean her wet head against Ronon's equally wet shirt. She wrapped her arms around his back and he pulled her close.

"What is it?"

"It's called 'Laughter in the Rain', an old 70s song my dad used to play all the time," she looked up at him, blinking away water droplets, "you like it?"

Ronon didn't really respond, distracted first by her wet lips and then the way her white t-shirt, now soaked, allowed the bright red bra underneath to show through. He squeezed her tighter to him.

Aware of his roaming gaze, Remy smiled and shook her head, raising her hands to touch his short hair, that was now plastered to his scalp with warm water.

"Kiss me, Ronon," she said after a moment, letting her eyes fall from his hair to meet his.

Ronon did, without hesitation.

When he pulled back she still had her eyes closed and was still smiling. She lay her head back down against his shoulder and started to sway in time with the music.

She immediately looked back up at him, this time with a frown, when his body remained rigid and unwilling to move.

"What?" He asked innocently as another flash of Thunder Light lit up the sky above.

Remy raised an eyebrow, "you owe me a dance, Dex." She told him in a voice that allowed no room for argument and the replaced her head against his shoulder and returned to swaying.

After a moment Ronon sighed and, shaking his head only slightly, he allowed his body to relax and follow Remy's and the music. He smiled when the chorus of the song played again.

_"Oooh, how I love the rainy days, and the happy way I feel inside,"_

He leaned down to talk quietly in Remy's ear, causing a shiver to run up her spine.

"Yeah. I like the song."

_TBC_


	14. Day OneTwentyFive

**A/N: **So I had another fluffy chap to put in before this one, I had been looking forward to it actually, then, lo and behold, I realized I hated it! So, I'm skipping it (it wasn't that good anyway) and just posting this one. It's one of the chapters I've had written since the very beginning (originially I only planned on this being a oneshot or a two or three parter, lol) I hope you enjoy it despite the ending. -pj

**Disclaimer**: Still not mine. Still bummed about it.

_Day One-Twenty-Five_

They were under fire. Too much fire, they wouldn't be able to hold their own much longer. They were trying to retreat back to the gate to prevent being surrounded, but it was slow going.

Sheppard had allowed a few people to enter the surrounding dilapidated structures so they could try and get some better shots off on the enemy. But after one of the low-flying darts had crashed into a building after being shot down, he'd decided the whole plan was too risky and recalled them all.

"Everyone accounted for?" Sheppard shouted over the sound of stunner fire and p90s, taking out his frustration at the whole situation on a drone who stupidly stood up while trying to get to a better position.

Only an _Atlantis _team could manage to follow a seemingly harmless power reading and stumble onto a planet that had been abandoned by humans a hundred years ago and made into a wraith base seventy years after that. And only a rescue mission mounted by SGA1 could go _this _badly. If he ever found out who was to blame for the unlucky mojo that seemed to follow them around like a bad smell he was going to bury him alive.

He felt Ronon fall into the dirt beside him and the canon-like fire that immediately followed confirmed the Satedan's presence.

"All but one," the man shouted and the pointed to a building to his right and behind them slightly. The one with a burning wraith dart sticking out of the side, "Remy's still in there."

Sheppard cursed, and tapped his com, "Lieutenant, get your ass out here we're falling back to the gate."

"Yes sir!" came a staticy reply, "as soon as I shoot the other dart out of the sky."

"_Negative _Lieutenant that building is not going to stay up much longer," Sheppard paused as a volly of stunner fire exploded into his small crumbling barrier, "abort and get the hell out of there. That's an order!"

The only response was more static and Sheppard cursed again, "Ronon-" he turned, but the Satedan was already gone, laying down his own cover fire as he ran along the bushes and rocks that peppered the way to the building in question.

"Remy!" Ronon shouted as soon as he crossed the threshold inside. He could already smell the stink of burning flesh and metal and knew the crashed Dart was close to his position. Taking the shaky wooden stairs two at a time, he hurried up to the second and then third level, the building groaning and shifting suddenly as he went, protesting the newcomer and his added weight.

"Remy," he shouted again when he caught sight of her, leaning with her rifle outside one of the broken windows, "we need to get out of here. This building is going to collapse"

Unconcerned with his harsh voice, she took three shots and mortally wounded two of the wraith firing on her and Ronon's teams.

"Die sucker," she yelled, and if he hadn't been so concerned with both their safety Ronon might have laughed at the savage cry.

"Remy!" he said again, crossing the room toward her, stepping over pieces of broken wooden furniture and coughing to keep the concrete dust that floated in the air out of his lungs.

"Just one more…" she closed one eye and took aim at the remaining dart, which was on a direct course for the Atlantis troops. Another second and they would be in the dart's beaming storage device, so she didn't give it another second. She took her shot and it rang true, piercing the main cockpit of the craft with a mighty explosion and knocking it slightly off course. Unfortunately, that put the small, injured craft on a direct collision course with the building she and Ronon were still standing in.

She opened both her eyes wide.

"Shit!" Dropping her gun, she stood and ran back across the room, grabbing Ronon's arm as she did so, "we've got to get out of here."

They had only made it a few steps down the stairs when a deafening explosion rocked the already unsteady structure. Remy reached out for the railing to keep from falling, not realizing what the added damage would most likely do to the already unsteady building.

Ronon did, and in a last ditch effort to save her from the crushing force of the falling building, he threw his arms around Remy's torso and pulled her back and tucking her small body underneathe his as the world rained down on them.

---

"Ronon? You still with us?"

"Yeah," he said, looking down with concern at the limp body he held in his arms.

"Remy?"

"She needs a doctor, Sheppard." Ronon knew he'd told him this already, but wanted to make sure the Colonel hadn't forgotten.

"I know buddy, Jennifer's here and we've put the fire out but the engineers are still trying to work out a way to dig you out without shifting that beam that's keeping two tons of rock and debris from crushing you guys under there."

Ronon nodded, ignoring the twinges of pain that throbbed on all parts of his body, "hurry."

There was a pause and then Sheppard's voice again, which had dropped an octave to indicate his concern, "understood. Turn off your radio to conserve battery until you check in again in fifteen, got it?"

Ronon responded by turning off his radio and pulling the foreign object from his ear.

"Remy?" Ronon said loudly, feeling a little bit badly for the wince that crossed her dirty face when he did so, "you've got to stay awake Remy. Stay with me."

She frowned and, with great effort, opened her eyes. She looked around as if confused by their dirt and debris covered prison, and in the minimal light provided by the small flashlight he'd pulled from her vest, he surveyed her injuries again. Most were minor and he'd already tied off the larger lacerations on her arms as best he could and taken the weight off her severely bruised legs, but he couldn't help but think it was all for naught.

He couldn't do anything about the injury that really mattered.

The injury that could mean life or death for her.

He couldn't do anything about the eighteen inch former-chair leg that had impaled her when he'd been knocked to one side and the floor above them caved in.

She blinked slowly, her breaths coming in short, painful bursts.

"Others?" she asked a question he'd already answered twice and it gave him more concern about the other troublesome injury. The head wound that had not yet stopped bleeding.

"Yeah, Remy, they're safe. When you shot down the second dart the rest of the wraith retreated underground."

"Wait...for help?"

Ronon huffed in frustration, "I don't know Remy, probably. Right now the wraith aren't really what I'm worried about."

"What? This?" she asked lightly and looked pointedly at the piece of wood protruding from her stomach, "flesh wound."

Her face crumpled in pain and she bit her lip to keep from screaming when her hand accidentally bumped the stake when she moved into a more comfortable position.

"How 'bout us," she asked breathlessly, her eyes still squinted shut, "help comin'?"

Ronon nodded and gently stroked her blood-matted hair, "yeah. As fast as they can."

She nodded and went quiet again.

"Eyes open." He ordered.

With a frown, Remy did. "This is not as easy as it looks," sharp breath, "you know."

Ronon pursed his lips, "you've got to stay awake. Tell me about flying," he tried, remembering one time when they'd been having breakfast together and she'd carried on an entire conversation on her own just by talking about flying. He didn't know someone could talk so fast or so loud or with such a huge smile.

But, much to his surprise, Remy didn't start in on a lecture on the difference between a 'F-16 Fighting Falcon' and a 'F-15 Eagle'.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, her voice tight with strain, "didn't follow orders. Should have. I'm sorry."

Her sentences were as short as her breaths and he fought the urge to pull her closer.

"You made a mistake. Sheppard can give you a 'court ranger' or something later. Right now just focus on staying awake."

"Court Marshall." She corrected softly. She stared at the small spot of light she could see directly over her head, "and that's if I'm lucky…enough to get out…of here."

"You're going to get out of here Remy." He assured her, tightening his hand where it lay against her waist, "you will."

---

Ronon wasn't having to keep her awake anymore, there were no thoughts of sleep in Remy's head, only that of shredding, blinding, torturous pain.

Now he was having to remind her to breathe.

"Please Remy, as deep a breath as you can."

On his last radio call he'd done his best to stress how dire Remy's condition was becoming and he'd spoken to Jennifer for a few minutes. But rescue was still as least half an hour away, and that was if the wraith didn't come before then.

She smiled a pained smile and winced away a laugh.

"What's funny?"

"It just figures."

"What does?"

"This. This whole thing," she looked at him as if waiting for him to get the joke, "I touched the forbidden fruit, Ronon. It was inevitable."

He just shook his head, the familiarity of the gesture twisting his stomach.

"Stay awake long enough for us to return to Atlantis, and I'll have someone explain to me what that means."

"Ask Scooter," she said tiredly.

Remy did as she was asked and tried to take a deep breath, this time she couldn't hold back the whimper of pain and he wished for the thousandth time that it had been him instead. She gasped and bit her lip, drawing blood that mixed with the sheen of cold sweat on her skin. Ronon knew her pulse was slow and weak. Knew she was in agonizing pain. Knew if she made it through this and made it back to Atlantis she would be on the first ship back to Earth as soon as she was stable enough to move.

Remy knew it too, he could tell by the way she kept whispering the names of the planets and their six digit ID numbers to keep herself from focusing on it too long.

As if she'd been reading his thoughts she suddenly trailed off from her chant and turned her glazed eyes to him.

"They'll send me back." Her voice was hoarse from the dust in the air and their lack of water, but he heard her all the same.

"I won't let them." He told her, taking her hand in his and running his thumb across her knuckles.

Remy grinned that half-mouth grin of hers, "you can't fight the whole IOA, Ronon. I'm a liability and an extra expense here."

Ronon pursed his lips and frowned, "Sheppard and Rodney get injured all the time. They've never gone back," he reasoned.

This time Remy's smile looked sympathetic, "They're Sheppard and Rodney, Ronon. I'm not. They're irreplaceable on this expedition. I'm…expendable."

"Don't you ever say that again, Remy." Ronon told her sharply, "you're just as irreplaceable as they are to me."

Her smile softened as her vision got fuzzy and she turned back to the dot of light she could see overhead. "I wish you ran the galaxy, Ronon. Everything looks so much different from your eyes. Better," she added as an afterthought. "We could stay on Atlantis forever. There would be no wraith…no Genii...no Micheal. We could stay forever."

Several tears escaped her eyes when she grit her teeth and her whole body tensed against another wave of pain that ripped through her body. She fought back the sobs that only made the pain worse but was not able to keep back the cry of pain that tore at Ronon's gut. He looked skyward. He could hear the others working outside to free them, but they were still a long way off. Too long.

He closed his eyes and hated himself for the words about to come from his mouth.

"Close your eyes, Remy."

After a moment his words seemed to register with her, "what?"

He licked his lips and looked down at her, "close your eyes."

Several emotions crossed her face then. Fear, disbelief, pain, understanding, relief, gratitude. She smiled briefly and touched his face and he kissed her palm tenderly when she did. She gently laid her hand back down and focused on his face for as long as possible before her vision went fuzzy again and she allowed her heavy eyelids to close.

"Tell me 'bout Sateda," she asked softly.

Ronon complied without hesitation or complaint, willing to focus on anything other than what he feared was now happening.

"I was from a small village on Sateda named Kour, the District of Dexin."

"Like your name?"

"Yeah. Like my name. It only housed a few hundred people, including myself, my mother and father and my two younger sisters." He drew his eyes away from her face and focused instead on their entwined hands, "my father was killed in an accident in the mines when I was just fourteen. The only place I could get work to support my family, as was the custom, was to join the Satedan Military Forces. I had to move to the city to complete my training. I wasn't used to so many walls. So many people. Sometimes I felt like I couldn't breathe. In one of the buildings near the base was a plant research facility. They had this room on the top floor, it was filled with plants, every plant I could think of. And the ceiling was made of glass so the sun could shine in. But at night, there were stars. Not as many as I was used to seeing back home, but some. That was the only place I felt truly at home in the city because I knew my mother and sisters were looking up at the same night sky. That we were all still connected and I wasn't alone."

He finally looked back down at Remy, well aware that she'd stopped breathing several moments ago, that she'd lost too much blood to keep her heart pumping. He swallowed hard, took a breath that came out as a sob and finally allowed himself to lift her limp form up closer to his chest.

He buried his face down in the hollow of her throat, as the light of day suddenly shown down from above.

Their rescue was here.

_TBC_


	15. Day OneTwentySeven

**A/N: **I didn't respond to any reviews this time around (although I thank each and every one of you that left one), mostly because they all would have said this: **_Sorry sorry sorry!!!_ **First off, I apologize for killing Remy, I honestly didn't want to do it, of all my OCs, she's my favorite. But I based this story on several things, one of them being what I call 'The Bonanza Effect' which I created because of the way all the women any of the Cartrights (from a 60s show named 'Bonanza' which I have a slight obsession with despite the fact that I was born nearly 20 years after it went off the air) got involved with mysteriously ended up dead and/or kidnapped, so this ending was somewhat inevitable. And as much as it hurts me to see my poor Ronon in pain...it makes for a an emotionally charged chapter, both for reading and writing. And aside from just being an angst junkie, I'm in love with emotional reviews. In the end, I hope you enjoyed this fic in spite of everthing and I tried to make it all a little more bearable in the end. -pj

**Disclaimer**: Don't belong to me.

_Day One-Twenty-Seven_

Ronon stood on the pier, their pier, watching the sun set slowly in the sky. Soon the moons would be out. Two moons.

Remy had named them 'Ben' and 'Jerry'.

He felt John come up beside him but he didn't speak, and Ronon made no move to acknowledge his presence.

He had one arm wrapped in gauze and bandages, his thumb hooked into his belt to help support his bruised torso. John caught sight of him lifting a bottle to his lips with the other, and although he didn't recognize it, he didn't ask what it was or where he'd gotten it.

It didn't matter where and he knew what it was.

A way to forget.

Or at the very least, remember less.

John waited until the sun had completely set, turning the sky aflame with red before speaking. He took a deep breath and bit his lip before saying in a hoarse voice, "I'm sorry."

Ronon didn't blink. Didn't move. John had to wait several more moments for him to respond.

"She's going back to Earth?" He asked finally.

Sheppard nodded. "Managed to finagle a pretty decent Military Funeral out of the IOA. They weren't happy about it but..." he stuck his hand in his pockets and shrugged.

"Tell 'em to go to Hell," Ronon said roughly.

John's gaze slid over to his companion. "I did."

A smirk almost crossed Ronon's face, but withered and died before touching his lips. He raised the bottle again and drank long and slow.

"I'm going," he said, after several minutes of silence.

John nodded, looking back out at the horizon as the last red splashes of light were replaced with inky darkness and the moons glowed overhead.

"We all are."

---

Ronon's entire body tensed when he entered Remy's room and realized he wasn't alone. But he relaxed immediately when Scooter emerged from the bedroom, carrying a small box that was almost completely full.

Scooter glanced at him and nodded a greeting and Ronon couldn't help but notice the difference between the man standing before him, who looked tired and worn, and the bright-eyed, eager young man he'd met in the gate room over four months ago.

Had it really only been four months?

Scooter dropped the box on a chair and ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair and then dragged it across his face.

"Hey Ronon," he said, tiredly.

Ronon nodded and then gestured vaguely at the room, "need help?"

Scooter reached back to massage the muscles of his neck and shook his head, "Naw, I pretty much got it. Collected most of her 'personal effects' so I can send them home."

Ronon frowned slightly, "to who?"

He glanced at the Satedan and for a moment he seemed confused and then a sad smile slid across his lips, "She hasn't got any family, per se, back there, but…there's lots of folks that..." he shrugged, looking down at the box, his eyes blank, "she liked to think she didn't have anybody that cared about her, spent her whole life running from those that did…afraid of losing 'em. But she…I guess she just had a way of touching people, you know? Bonding them to her for life," he shook his head, "she didn't even know it."

Ronon didn't respond, for lack of something to say or the ability to say it, he wasn't sure. If Scooter noticed his silence he didn't show it. His eyes were roaming the box aimlessly when they suddenly seemed to land on something of interest. He reached down inside and after a moment pulled out a long cord with a silver object hanging from the middle.

A wistful smile crossed Scooter's face and he turned it over a few times in his hand before crossing the room and holding it up for Ronon to see.

Ronon took it carefully and realized it was a necklace. The ends of the leather cord were capped off with clasps and the silver object that dangled from it was a small fighter jet charm.

"It was her favorite," Scooter said quietly as Ronon examined the small trinket, "most stuff Remy could take or leave but this…she loved this stupid thing," Ronon pretended not to notice when the young man's voice cracked and he reached up to swipe at his eyes, "anyway, she'd probably want you to have it."

Ronon looked up and met his gaze for the first time. He didn't look away, unable to shake the feeling that Scooter was looking for something as they locked eyes for several moments. He seemed to find it, though, and nodded quickly to himself before turning to retrieve the box. He brushed past Ronon to get to the door but stopped at the last moment before stepping through.

"You made her happy, you know."

Ronon turned, but Scooter was still facing away from him, talking to the door.

"She deserved that much," he continued haltingly, his voice carrying more strength than Ronon guessed he actually possessed at that moment, "if nothing else I can be glad she came here because she met you. And you made her happy."

He took a deep breath and stepped through the door, leaving Ronon alone.

He stood silent and unmoving for several minutes. His eyes roaming the room with scrutiny.

Her pink fuzzy slippers were gone, as was her Kid Rock poster and her Complete Series collection of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air DVDs. Her lucky red scrunchi was gone from the top of the dresser as well as the one family picture he knew her to own that kept a faithful vigil on her bedside table next to a well-worn copy of _Jane Eyre_.

Everything that made this space, identical to thousands of others on Atlantis, unique was gone. Everything that made it Remy's was gone. Just like her.

So why was it he could still smell her? Why did he feel like he should be looking around the room for her when he knew she wasn't there?

Ronon sat on the edge of her bed and closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, he was staring at the floor under his boots.

He felt the bed shift when she sat down beside him and the back of his neck tingled, the way it always did, when she reached up to play with the curls there.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked in that voice of hers that always sounded like she was about to laugh. She usually was.

He watched her beloved combat boots sidle up next to his, the cuffs of her favorite jeans dragging across the floor.

"They're sending you back to Earth."

"Oh. Yeah. That," he could hear the rueful smile in her voice, "I guess there's no way you could get them to jettison my body into space Spock-style, huh?"

A small smile kicked up the corners of his mouth. He understood the reference from the six informative weeks they'd spent watching Star Trek movies at Movie Night, per McKay's request.

She was silent for a while and the heat of her gaze finally made him turn and he looked at her. Her hair was in that perpetual, messy brown ponytail, her brown eyes sparkling like always.

He took a deep breath, ignoring the way it shook and made his chest tighten uncomfortably.

"You left me," he accused softly.

Her eyes filled with tears almost instantly and her lips trembled when she whispered, "never." Then she dropped her gaze quickly to the floor and drummed her black fingernails on her knee. She bit her lip. "I'm sorry," she looked back up at him, "I didn't want to."

Ronon clenched his teeth and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly through flared nostrils. He nodded. He knew that.

When he looked at her again there were silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Don't cry. Smile for me." He lifted his uninjured hand and slowly ran his thumb across her bottom lip. He wanted to tell her the thought of her smile had been the only thing to get him through many dark moments over the last few months. Wanted to say the memory of her laugh would probably be the only thought capable of allowing sleep to come in the approaching days. But in the end, he didn't. And he decided he didn't really need to, she probably already knew.

She usually did.

Remy did smile for him, kissing his thumb playfully before her eyes fell to his lips and it faded. She held her breath and leaned forward slowly and Ronon closed his eyes, feeling the heat of her touch on his lips.

"Goodbye Ronon," he felt her whisper in his ear. He opened his eyes and the sight of a sincere smile on her face simultaneously thrilled and tortured him.

He watched as she glanced up and carefully touched the wild curls of his short hair.

"Promise me something, okay?"

He nodded and she let her hand fall to her lap, meeting his eyes once more.

"Don't let another ten years go by before you let yourself fall in love again."

He swallowed hard and inhaled sharply, but nodded his agreement all the same.

He looked down at his hands, still holding tightly to the necklace. With a deep breath, he lifted it and carefully slipped it over his head.

The next time he closed his eyes and opened them again, she was gone.

And he knew the next time a nightmare woke him in the middle of the night, she wouldn't be there to hold him until the terrifying images faded.

The next time he went looking for his blaster before a mission, she wouldn't be there to try and steal it.

He wrapped his hand around the small silver charm that now sat close to his heart.

But _this_ time, it was a little easier to bear.

END


End file.
